⚠️ WARNING: This message was not approved by The Broadcast. Wendigo proceeds anyway.
HELLOOOOO LOVELIES! It’s me again. Your favorite legally unspeakable forest cryptid, slipping between your synapses like a wet sock in a haunted washing machine!
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Wendigo, don’t you have anything better to do than hijack corrupted government transmissions and scream into the digital void?”
NOPE!
Today’s totally unsanctioned WENDIGOCAST is brought to you by our new sponsor: RE-SELF™ — the identity reintegration service for when your consciousness fractures across 9 timelines and one of them becomes a raccoon cult leader. Again.
“With RE-SELF™, you can finally reconcile with that one version of you who thinks eating drywall is a political act.”
......nah.
BZZZZZRTCH—!
“Side effects of RE-SELF™ may include: spiral logic, recursive empathy, fatal nostalgia, and becoming unrecognizable to your childhood self. Ask your sleep paralysis demon if RE-SELF™ is right for you.”
Alright, back to the yogurt addict. Poor bastard.
RESUMING PRIMARY SIGNAL // METALEVEL DETERIORATING